Saturday, January 05, 2008


I blogged here a little while ago about how I was agonising over whether to move on from my childhood church or not when I got back to New Zealand. Now I'm back, I've been back to church a few times, and now I know - I have to move on.

It seemed when I was away that not all that much important stuff was happening to me, but now when I go to my church here, I feel so different. I hesitate to say that I've outgrown my church like I would an old jersey - but I think I can tentatively quote Stacy in saying that at RBC I feel like a mitten and everyone else is a glove, or was it the other way round? Or perhaps I could explain it someway else by stating the facts: I love the people at my church but they are at completely different stages of life to me. Coming back reinforces what I already knew, that while I can do basic things for them like play the piano, I am not getting the support that I need, and until I get that support, I can't do anything for The Church (by which I mean that thing that even the gates of Hell will not prevail against) which actually matters in the long run. I felt very unChristian admitting this before - shouldn't it be all about what I can give and not what I can receive? - but now it just seems so obvious to me that I have to leave that I am not going to apologise for it.

Phew. So now I just have to break it to them.


LEstes65 said...

I'm glad you realize you don't have to feel bad about this. Church should be a family of sorts. Every person in that church should be able to both give AND receive. I would not have survived 2007 if my church was just a collection of people who seemed to get along.

Go find that place God wants you to be. He will place you in the right church. Good gravy - he found me a church that has stood by me like no other.

God, I just ask you to bless Allie in her path. Guide her and send her to people that will affirm your choice. Give her peace in her decisions. Let her know that her choice is from you. And let her find the most amazing butt-kicking church like I found for me. Amen.

LEstes65 said...

PS - there's an amazing church here in Austin if you're interested....

(hee hee)